Hi, this is the Monster in Tim’s Head again. Thank you all so much for the well wishes following my sudden absence – it truly has made my heart grow fonder – I had been granted an extended holiday leave for all the good work I’d done. Management thought we could afford to leave the subject alone with his thoughts for a good long while.
It turns out that wasn’t such a good idea, something for which I accept no responsibility whatsoever.
But I’m back. And, boy, do I have my work cut out for me!
Last night, after a very good day (for him), Tim went home feeling a trifle low – a perfectly natural condition after a long and fun day – and with just a few whispers I had him weakly contemplating suicide again, it was almost just like the good old days, as if I’d never left. It was wonderful watching him lying there, struggling, as if his ‘newly found freedom’ had been torn from him, and wondering if he ever would have a chance at being ‘normal’. It was after a couple of hours of this that I made my fatal mistake:
“You’ve always been this way, and you always will.” I whispered – a gem that had worked wonders in the past. Nobody told me that he’d woken up in my absence!
I heard him say, “Don’t be silly,” whether this was to himself or to me I’ll never know. “Don’t be daft, you’ve had a month and a half without any of this bullshit!” And just like that, I lost him.
I should never have accepted the generous holiday offer in its entirety, so much has unravelled and it’s going to be a while before things are back to normal. As ever, your kind thoughts are much appreciated.