This evening, because Ros hadn’t been able to make it to any of the Good Friday services, we read through Mark’s passion narrative – lit by seven little candles surrounding a taller candle in the centre of the table and the back-light of the phone we were using to display the text.

At each point that things became noticeably worse for Jesus we blew out a candle until, at the point of his final breath, we blew out the tall candle. Once the centurion had made his proclamation, we turned off the phone and sat for a while in the darkness.

Things We Kiss In Church

Every year, on Good Friday, during the Liturgy of the Day, our congregation processes to the front of the church and kiss the crucifix (that has just been carried forward) – in an act of veneration.

Every week, the gospel is kissed as soon as it has been read – in an act of reverence.

Every week, the priest kisses the altar – in an act of veneration.

Last night, during our Maundy Thursday service, my right foot was kissed as part of the foot-washing re-enactment – there must have been something else going on.

Easter Niceties

Robb just tagged me in a conversation about David Cameron’s recent Easter message in Premier’s Christianity magazine, with links to some further discussion of the article – along with a pointed mention of the word ‘nice’.

Which opened the vein that usually channels my inner Steve Turner:

Easter is a blessed relief,
a shot in the arm,
a dose of salts.
New life, early in the morning.

In these ways,
it is like a liturgical shot of espresso
after 40 days of instant decaf.


Maybe cause for celebration
– once things have settled down
and the strangeness is beginning to become the new normal.

But nothing without nails
Without these
It’s just another way of getting out of bed.

Update on “The Process” – I met with the DDO today

I met with the DDO this afternoon and he fed back the feedback from the reports from the interviews.

It was largely positive but it looks like there may be a slight delay in getting the ball rolling – there seems to be a bit of a shortfall on the “Leadership and Collaboration” criterion. To make this up will take time that will take us past the last BAP that would give me a chance of starting training in the autumn.

I’ll be speaking to the bishop in a week or so and will have more idea of what to expect at that time – but it seems that, if all goes well, we’ll be ready to go in autumn 2016.

First Time Preaching for a Long Time

St Silas, Byker
Yesterday morning, I went to one of my local churches to preach.

A couple of months back, I had been invited by the vicar and was available for their Mothering Sunday service.

The readings were: Exodus 2:1-10; 2 Corinthians 1:3-17; Luke 2:33-35.

I had intended to record proceedings but there wasn’t enough time between putting the gospel down and starting to talk to fiddle with the technology that would have been involved. Lesson 1: turn the screen lock off on the phone in preparation. So, if you want to know what I said, you’ll have to read my notes rather than listen.

Has anybody been brought breakfast in bed this morning?

I remember the first time I made a cup of tea for my mum – I was still in single figures, but knew that tea needed to be made with boiling water and had been repeatedly warned, “Careful of that hot tap, the water’s boiling.” Of course, the results were undrinkable and I was very quickly taught how to use the kettle.

Mothering Sunday is, in part, about looking back at where we’ve come from – the homes from which we’ve sprung, the people who have shaped us, and looking for God’s hand in the story of our lives so far. But looking back is only part of the story – knowing where we’ve come from is only useful if it sheds light on where we are now and helps us see where we’re going, or where we ought to be going. Years ago, I fell asleep on the bus and ended up several stops into the unknown, completely lost. I knew I’d got on the bus in the centre of town and had come out of the other side of Heaton, but that was no help at all towards me finding my way home.

None of this to say that our past dictates our future but that it definitely shapes and guides it. Even if all that amounts to is us having the wisdom to say, “I’m never going through that again.”

In both the Old Testament and Gospel readings today, we see childhood snap-shots of saviours, sent by God to rescue huge numbers of people – the nation of Israel, in Moses’ case & the whole of creation in Jesus’s. But, for once, the emphasis isn’t on the children so much as on their mothers and carers – people without whom the stories would have abrupt and premature endings.

In the Exodus reading, the Israelites were being systematically oppressed and persecuted – the king had said that all Hebrew baby boys had to be thrown into the river, Moses’ mother eventually obeyed the letter of the law and put him in the river (but in a still bit of the water and in a floating basket, watched over by his sister – this baby was going nowhere). The rest, although it sets up the story of the rescue of an entire nation from slavery, seems a little bit like a fairy tale – a chance discovery by a princess, the quick, heroic bit of thinking by the sister, and the unexpected joy of his mother being able to bring him up – and be paid for doing so, ending with the bitter-sweet handing over of the grown boy to go and live in the palace. Taken as a whole, the story seems a bit like the news as read by Morecambe and Wise:

  • The Good News is: you’ve just given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.
  • The Bad News is: the law says you’ve got to throw him in the river.
  • The Good News is: you’ve managed to keep him hidden for three months without the authorities finding out.
  • The Bad News is: he’s grown too big to stay hidden, into the river he goes!
  • The Good News is: you have a cunning plan! Seems to be working, he’s not drowning!
  • The Bad News is: he’s been discovered by an Egyptian!
  • The Good News is: she’s not nasty and is going to pay you to look after your own child.
  • The Bad News is: now that he’s grown up, she wants him back.
  • The Good News is: he gets to live in a palace.
  • The Bad News is: it’s the palace of the ruling family who told you to throw him in the river in the first place…

What a lot of ups and downs! But it could have ended on bad news at any point if Moses’ mother hadn’t taken swift and decisive action to keep him alive.

In the gospel reading, Jesus has just been dedicated at the Temple, and Simeon (an old man who has been waiting for years to see the saviour God promised to Israel) has just claimed that Jesus will be a glory for the people of Israel and light to guide everybody else. He expands on these ideas and makes a horrifying prophecy to Mary. At the young age of forty days, that’s quite a lot of expectation to be placed on a child and a similar amount of pressure on the mother. How frightened do you think Mary would have been? A sword piercing your soul (in this case, with hindsight, it seems fairly obvious that it refers to the trauma of losing her child through a violent death) must be a horrible thing to have hanging over you; all the more so as you would have go through life, raising your child in the light of the exciting light and glory parts, the challenging falling and rising parts and the alarming final words.

Let me tell you about my friend E. – he’s six years old, clever as they come, has a cheeky smile and a sense of humour to match. He’s doing well at school and enjoys reading, watching TV and horse riding.

He almost didn’t make it to a week old.

Seven years ago, his parents discovered that their soon-to-be-born first child was going to be born with spina bifida. This is an illness that usually causes paralysis of the legs, incontinence, and can cause learning difficulties. There were complications with the birth and it was touch and go whether E. would survive – and, if he did, what kind of a life he could expect in the future. Life was tough but, after lots of surgery, things settled down and my friends had to prepare for a life unlike anything they’d expected or planned for.

E. is all of those things I mentioned but needs a wheelchair or walker to move around and will need more-or-less constant medical care for the rest of his life. The world is a richer and better place for him being in it and he adds so much to the lives of his friends and family – we are blessed to have him with us. But living with his condition has been, and continues to be a huge challenge to his parents.

The way they have dealt with E.’s spina bifida has inspired me. On a day to day level, there’s not much to notice out of the ordinary – besides a slightly bigger-than-usual car to cope with the wheel chair. But they have had to constantly apply for grants to fund all the changes they’ve had to make, including rebuilding the ground floor of their house to make it more accessible for E. Of course, none of this compares to a sword piercing their souls, or even having to hide their child in a basket from imperial troops, but their continuing care and love for their son is setting him up in the best way possible to lead a positive and productive life.

Not all of us are parents, some of us never will be. We don’t live in such troubled times as Moses, Jesus and their families. Not many of us will be called to be movers and shakers, acting to bring about justice and salvation on a major scale. But that doesn’t mean that we have nothing to learn from today’s lessons.

Just as there was a varied group of people ensuring that Moses got a good start in life, we can all be part of such a group of our own – nurturing and caring for those around us. One important example from church life that springs to mind is the promise we all make at a baptismal service, to welcome and support children into the life of the church.

And just as Mary’s future of raising Jesus promised joy, wonder and heartbreak – taking responsibility for our friends, family and acquaintances will bring its very own mix of reward and hardship.

God does send saviours for his people but they’d get nowhere without their support and carers. It’s unlikely that we are sent to be those saviours in major, ground breaking ways. But we do have an ability and duty to provide care for those we meet in our day to day lives – who knows what God is doing through them and us?!


Progress Has Happened

The interviews last week seemed to go all right. In hindsight, there are bits I could have done better but overall I reckon they were as good as I could hope for.

The three interviews were all different in setting – one in an interview room at work, one in somebody’s study, and the last in a cosy living room – and the subject matter varied as the topics for each session were different but there was some, necessary overlap and the atmosphere throughout was one of friendly enquiry.

I have no idea what the panel are going to write in their reports and I’m now waiting to hear from the DDO when he contacts me to arrange a further meeting to discuss the reports.

We shall see…

Progress is Happening – Local Interview Dates Have Been Set

It’s taken a while for me to feel like I’ve had anything worth reporting about “The Process*” and all of a sudden things seem to be moving a little bit quickly.

I received an e-mail from the DDO1 asking how well I knew various members of a list of potential local interviewers – to keep the selection side of the process impartial, we can’t be interviewed by anybody that we know too well. I crossed a few names off and replied.

About a week later, after the DDO had worked his wonders, I got another e-mail containing the following “official bit”:

I have arranged for you to be interviewed by a Diocesan Panel, as the next stage in the discernment of your vocation. Please do remember that these interviews are part of the on-going process as you and the wider Church explore God’s will for your life. Each interview will major on certain criteria as defined in the Ministry Division procedures for interview, but may also touch upon wider issues.

Along with details of the three members of the panel, whom I was to contact individually to arrange a meeting.

After a phone call and a couple of e-mails dates had been set – all for this week. Each interview will look at three of the Criteria for Selection (a summary can be found here). The interviews will be happening on the following dates:

  1. Tuesday 10.30am: “Vocation, Ministry within the Church of England, Spirituality”
  2. Wednesday 7.30pm: “Personality & Character, Relationships, Leadership & Collaboration”
  3. Saturday 10.30am: “Faith, Mission and Evangelism, Quality of Mind”

I’ll be reporting back on how things go when I get a chance.

I’m not feeling particularly apprehensive but, as ever, prayers and general-supportiveness would be very much appreciated.

*By which, I mean “the process that I’m going through whilst exploring a sense of vocation to full time ministry within the Church of England.”
1 Diocesan Director of Ordinands – a role overseeing people within the diocese from the start of calling exploration to the point of finishing training.

Je Suis Timbo

On Sunday morning, rainbow clad gunmen broke into the Westboro Baptist Church building and opened fire on the congregation. Screaming, “Glad to Gay!” they killed four of the main pastoral staff of the controversial organisation, including founding pastor, Fred Phelps. Three other members of the congregation were also killed in the attack.

In the aftermath, the hashtag #iamwestboro started trending on Twitter and people the world over started publishing pictures of Westboro Baptist’s famous placards in solidarity with the church.

A spokesman for Westboro Baptist said, “those placards aren’t homophobic – don’t seek to delegitimise us without understanding either the context of our belief or our place within American society and history.”

When asked why he was promoting obviously homophobic images on his website, John Smith, of, said, “It’s a free speech issue, we must face this outrageous attack on our right to say whatever we like by saying things that we strongly disagree with – just because. And, furthermore, anyone that doesn’t do likewise, is a coward who is giving the attackers what they want. The entirety of the gay community should apologise for this horror – even if they had nothing to do with it.”

“What’s Going On, Timbo?” I Hear You Say

Well now:

  • there’s been quite a lot of going up and down the country over Christmas and the new year
  • I’m back at work now and it’s just like I never left
  • Ros is away at the Youth For Christ national staff conference – it’s meant that the flat has been emptier feeling but I’ve hardly been there.
  • Progress seems to be being made through my exploration of calling/discernment process – and it looks like the next step is in sight (of course nothing is certain and that has been a major part of the process in itself) – if you want to hear more about this, I’d be happy to write more
  • I’m struggling to be getting back into the diet routine but doing better today that at the start of the week
  • I’m writing dull, personal, blog updates in an effort to get some of the old creative juices running and because writing dullness is better than not writing – reading it versus not reading it, on the other hand…
  • we have a shiny, new coffee machine that makes wonderful coffee – I totally disagree with the conclusions reached in the coffee machine section of this article about simplifying life
  • I’m hoping to read more this year than last and will be writing about my first book of the year, Bryan Talbot’s Grandville Noël in the not-too-distant.

Does that answer your, admittedly fictional, question?