The Thirty-one Deaths of Evelyn Johnson
16 – Evelyn and the Beanstalk
28 – American Evelyn

16 – Evelyn and the Beanstalk

Once upon a time, Evelyn climbed a beanstalk and was eaten by the giant.

28 – American Evelyn

This one time, at band camp, Evelyn was beaten to death by a red-haired, flute-wielding maniac.

3 thoughts on “The Thirty-one Deaths of Evelyn Johnson
16 – Evelyn and the Beanstalk
28 – American Evelyn”

  1. Glad to have pointed you at a potential muse for future Evelyn genocide. Always glad to assist in the outworking of your murderous intentions.

    You must accept my apologies, good sir; i did not think the concept of cheating was unfamiliar to you. It can be characterised as the acquisition of progress by unfair means. I hope this explanation clarifies matters somewhat. Please let me know if i can be of any further help.

  2. Cheating?! What do you mean, cheating?! And, thank you – the song was very apt and possible inspiration for future killings.

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