Sure would help a lot.
[/crappy, tenuosly-linked singing]
Right now, I’m taking a break from the long overdue sorting out of The Pit. I’ve just finished putting the clothes away. The room looks exactly the same.
Next up: books!
I need more shelves.
Frankly, I’m amazed that I’ve got this far. Earlier, I had to tear myself away from The ‘Box and just now I refused free food so I could stay and work. That is how dedicated to getting this done. Sadly, all the dedication in the world can’t inspire me to feel good about it.
Whilst there are lots of fun, exciting things going on in my life, the depression is taking progressively larger chunks of “me” hostage. I’ve got no idea how get out of this hole.
Prayer, meditation and reading the Bible: check.
Writing down and talking about how I’m feeling: check.
Seeking medical help: check.
Doing fun things and being around other people as much as possible: check.
Exercise and eating healthily:check (well I’m making a start on it.)
The problems with my back haven’t helped. Especially since I found out that it was mostly the result of a terrible posture. Nothing anybody esle can do to help there. When I thought it was a case of doing the execises every hour, I could cope with that and manage to achieve at least three quarters of what I was set. Now it’s something I have to look out for all the time, and bearing in mind that depression is a kind of “full-being slouch” it’s become a bit too much again. I know I have to break it down and check regularly, but every time I do the panic and the fear wells up again.
I’m falling to pieces here, and I hope to God that the safety nets I’ve built up can catch the pieces. I think I’m fighting the moment off and I’d much prefer another option, but right now that’s all I can see coming up.